7 Types of Insecurities in a Relationship
When two individuals come in a relationship, they become vulnerable and share everything about themselves with each other. This increases both bonding and insecurities as the expectations also increase in the relationship. People start feeling that they are not good enough for their partner as their partner is so good and become unconfident about themselves in the relationship. They doubt their own value and develop low sense of self-worth. Insecurities can come from tension of future and bad past experiences and both influences present life.
Here are some signs of being insecure in a relationship:
- You are always jealous
- You keep track of your partner that what they are doing, where they are, etc.
- You seek attention
- You always argue with each other on silly topics
- You always take out negative conclusions from every conversation
- You doubt their every act and word
- You think that your partner is not being honest with you
7 Types of Insecurities in a Relationship
Now, let’s see the various insecurities that occur in relationships.
1. Not trusting partner
The major trust issue that can be seen in relationships is that people fear that their partner may abandon them or leave them for someone else. And to avoid this, they generally play victim card in every argument which can be frustrating after a period of time. They also fear committing to their partner and if they even commit they will do something to sabotage it somehow. People with anxiety issues, commitment issues, depression and loneliness often develop trust issues in relationship. They find it really hard to express themselves and to believe anything that their partner may say to them.
2. Overthinking every move
The habit of constantly overthinking every action and word of one’s partner can really lead to problems between the two individuals. It involves making unreliable and illogical assumptions and then getting upset over it. It is a big sign that maybe the person is insecure in the relationship and constantly worried that something bad might happen. If there are downs in the relationship, they should be handled properly and maturely and not with overthinking and doubts. Insecure people in relationships tend to overthink and worsen the situation instead of communicating and solving the problem from its root.
3. Financial issues
Individuals in relationship should have proper conversation on finances, spending habits, savings and goals. But people who are insecure tend to not discuss anything related to finances and keep everything to themselves. It can be due to ego problems, not trusting partner on money matters and control anxiety. After marriage and even having kids can change the whole spectrum of money matters but if not managed properly by the couple, it can increase insecurity among them. Insecure people generally avoid discussing about things like salaries, savings, expenditures, debts, bills, etc. with their partner.
4. Intimacy
Fear of intimacy is also an insecurity which is caused by an anxiety of closeness so people avoid intimacy and sabotage their relationships. This intimacy can be intellectual intimacy, emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy and spiritual intimacy. It can be due to many reasons like failed past relationships, abandonment issues, childhood traumas and confusion in present relationship. But this fear of intimacy can really lead to breakups easily as relationships thrive only when various levels of intimacy are achieved regularly. Certain expectations are supposed to be fulfilled in relationships like sharing feelings and experiences with each other, have a little physical intimacy that can be increased overtime. And if these expectations are not fulfilled, then the relationships get filled with insecurity.
5. Low self-esteem
Firstly, having low self-esteem can impact the choice of partner as one will always put forward the partner’s needs instead of his/her own needs in the relationship. One may be more prone to feel jealous and insecure all the time and even question their worth in the relationship. They always think they are not good enough for their partner and put unnecessary efforts in the relationship. Also, such people may always fear that their partner will leave them for someone else. For example, insecure person may forgive every single bad action of their partner because they don’t want a breakup and this can lead to toxicity in the relationship.
6. Giving no personal space
In today’s time of such busy lives, everyone expects a little personal time to energize oneself mentally. But this doesn’t mean that they don’t love their partner and don’t want to give them attention. But people who are insecure don’t like giving personal space to their partners as they want attention from their partner 24/7 which is a little over the top expectation. And if this attention is not given then they feel unloved, uncared and ignored. This need for attention can be due to negative past relationships, need for constant reassurance, low self-esteem and poor quality of life in general.
7. Comparison
Insecure people compare everything that their partner does in a relationship. They don’t understand that every relationship is different and it should be appreciated for its uniqueness. This insecurity is based on the assumption that my partner is not good enough and he/she should put more efforts like other people’s partners do. The main basis of relationship is to accept the person as it is with all flaws and limitations and insecure people tend to forget it. Statements often used while doing comparison are- “We don’t do anything romantic like them” or “We should also go out like them”.
Relationship Counseling for Insecurity issues at Medavas
Insecurities can cause fights, arguments and even breakup if the situation gets worse so the insecurities need to be managed well in the relationship. If you feel like insecurities are negatively impacting your relationship with your partner, so, relationship counselling can really help with this issue. Various Psychologists are available at Medavas who are trained and experienced in the field of relationship issues and booking an appointment with them is an easy task on our website. So, go ahead and book your session at our website with the psychologist of your choice.
