Marriage Counselling

Marriage Counselling is a joint help received by a couple together to resolve any conflict or issue in their marital life. As it is different from other types of therapy (two individuals in a relationship are present together) so, it is considered difficult especially when there are intense emotions involved. Sometimes, an individual is taking therapy just for the sake of it and don’t want any help, so, those kind of people are very difficult to deal with in the session.

But still, Marriage Counselling is widely used to help couples save their marriage and improve their relationship. Also, it is not necessary that you must have some issue to resolve in the session, one can take a marriage counselling session just for improving the quality of the relationship. Also, marriage counselling shows better results if taken before even the problem arises.

Signs that you and your partner need Marriage Counselling

Marriage counselling is for those couples who are facing conflicts and issues in their marital life and want to resolve it successfully. If you want to know the signs that show the requirement for marriage counselling, then consider the following points:

• You both have poor communication styles

• You both can’t agree on anything

• You both can’t solve any problem together

• You don’t trust each other

• You both don’t have physical, emotional and psychological connection with each other anymore

• You both are facing sexual issues

• Your lifestyle doesn’t match with each other

• You/ your partner have engaged in infidelity

• You and your partner argue or fight on the daily basis

• You imagine being away from each other

What happens in Marriage Counselling?

When couples just pinpoint and blame each other and can’t seem to end their conflict, then, marriage counselling helps. In the session of the marriage counselling, counsellor helps the couple to communicate openly, discuss their issues and express their viewpoints and needs. This brings clarity and freedom in the marital relationship of the couple which was missing earlier. The Counsellor has to carefully listen to the conversation of the couple and find something even tiny important thing that can maybe save the relationship.

Couples are also given homework to do outside of the counselling sessions to turn all the learnt skills into habits. When couples start to grow apart, marriage counselling repair all the issues and again bring the two individuals together and feel like they used to do earlier. It can be long-term but also it is necessary as it involves healing wounds that were caused by people to each other only.

Couples learn forgiveness in the counselling session which is an essential component of a long-lasting and a successful marriage. Every problem is resolved by the couple by building a nice, new and a fresh perspective for each other and then put efforts together. A relationship is saved with the help of the right advice and approach by the marriage counsellor.

There are many issues that occur in marriage that seems impossible to resolve but it is important to understand that you are not alone and many people suffer from the same problem. And the solution to save your marriage is marriage counselling and it deals with the following problems:

Problems resolved in Marriage Counselling and how

1. Poor Communication and lack of understanding

Major focus is put on couple’s communication styles and efforts to understand each other because it is the reason that mostly conflicts and arguments even happen. Both the individuals are given an opportunity in the counseling session to explain their perspective and the other person just listens at that time and vice versa. This is done because solid communication is very important in marriage and besides that a good level of understanding which counsellor makes sure that it develops between the couple.

Marriage Counsellor teaches communication styles and essentials of a good two-way communication to the clients or couple through the help of various activities and role plays in the counselling session. They are also advised to practice all learning in their actual life.

2. Infidelity

It is a very common issue but also a serious matter. Infidelity is considered a wrong thing which cannot be forgiven easily. It includes one person engaging in a sexual relationship with a person outside of the marriage calling it an affair. It causes a serious damage to the relationship or the foundation of the marriage. Thus, once it happens marriage counselling becomes very important as it can help to improve the quality of the relationship and make the bond even strong than ever. This makes sure that the bad phase can be let go and coupe can move on to better things in life with each other.

3. Financial Issues

This is one of the most common issues in marriage when couples find it difficult to manage their finances. Counsellor helps them to agree on financial aspects and plan on how to save money, how to spend it and how to invest it. Marriage counseling can really benefit couples by resolving all financial conflicts happening between the couple. Both the individuals are made to listen and understand each other in the session on the topic of financial planning. Everything related to finances is sorted out in the session only with the help and guidance of the counsellor so that these issues don’t come up again in future.

4. Sexual issues

This is another common issue which can be a little embarrassing for the couple to talk about in front of the counsellor. But the counsellor provides a very safe, comforting and non-judgmental environment for the couple to talk about their sexual issues and even sort them out. All the expectations, needs and desires are expressed and understood in the session by the couple with the help of the counsellor.

5. Incompatibility

Sometimes, people marry even though they are incompatible for each other. And all the incompatibility problems arise after the marriage when the couple starts living together. They have to share responsibilities and work load and fulfill the expectations of their various roles. Disagreements and conflicts can even happen when a couple is not able to run a house together. This can turn into frustration and increased distance between the two individuals which is obviously not good for the married couple and their relationship. So, the counsellor helps the couple to discuss all the incompatibility issues and explore the possible solutions together and put a stop to it.

They both are made to understand each other’s differences and accept them with full heart as both of them comes from different families and thus have different upbringings so they should adjust with each other for a loving and peaceful life together.

6. Bad Addiction

Due to any reason life stress, lifestyle, peer pressure, show-off, etc, one can engage in the habit of substance abuse or alcohol addiction or smoking. This can really interfere with the married couple’s relationship as this kind of addiction comes with various other problems like financial loss, work loss, bad influence on children, conflicts with wife, health problems and many others. But this doesn’t have to be like this only and all of this can be worked upon with the help of marriage counselling. Marriage Counsellor can help the person to let go of this bad addiction and improve his/her life for good and save the marriage at the end.

7. Children or Parenthood

Having same opinions and perspectives about having children and being a parent is very necessary for a couple otherwise it can put the marriage at a risk. So, the counsellor makes the two individuals discuss about wanting to have a child or not, infertility, parenting styles, how to deal with forthcoming changes after a child, how many children to have, etc. This makes sure that couples survive through pregnancy and childrearing stage well without any issues or conflicts.

8. Boredom

It may not seem like a valid reason but it can be sometimes a big reason for a marriage to split apart. When two individuals spend a lot of time together, the spark and the excitement of a relationship may fade away overtime if efforts are not maintained. So, bored couple may separate and take some decisions that are not good for the survival of the marriage. That’s why, counsellor makes the couple do various activities that makes that love or spark come again and also makes sure that marriage survives for a longer period of time.

9. Trauma or Abuse

Domestic violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and mental trauma can really make a person to choose divorce rather than choosing to stay in the marriage and work through it. And in today’s time, when there are various laws regarding all of this, one can easily file for a divorce. But if the person who is abuser wants to really change and save the marriage, then, marriage counselling is the best decision in that case. That person will be given proper psychological treatment and simultaneously will be provided marital help in the counselling sessions as well.

Some tips given and taught in Marriage Counselling

• Communicate clearly with each other.

• Tell each other that you are grateful for one another.

• Give each other personal space for their personal growth.

• Accept each other’s differences and work through it together.

• It’s okay to disagree sometimes but not okay to fight over it always.

• Spend quality time with each other.

• Always work on building each other’s trust.

• Learn forgive and forget.

• Tell each other about your day.

• Find common interests and plan your life accordingly.

• Try to listen to each other and understand also.

• Show respect to each other always no matter what happens.

• Negotiation is important in marriage.

• Say “I love you” often

• Be intimate.

• Divide every work and responsibilities equally.

• Plan your goals together.

• Little gestures go long way.

• Appreciate each other on important things.

• Make each other a priority in life.

Visit Medavas for Professional Marriage Counselling

Marriage is a commitment which requires a lot of efforts and hard work to keep it going but sometimes it may seem that you require somebody’s help to keep the marriage going on. So, with the help of a professional like marriage counsellor, the problems faced in marriage can be solved efficiently and relationship of the couple can be improved. At Medavas, various psychologists/counsellors are available who are specialized in this field only. You can book your appointment anytime with them and avail the benefits at our website called Medavas.